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When I happened to open the bill one day I was sick. Some wives prefer to stay home and raise children, others don't. Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. It is always a good thing to have certain individuality when it comes to finances, but having transparency about your financial … No... not at all . But it isn't technically the mans job to support a woman. Wth . If you have kids and the wife stays home, then it would be the responsibilty of the husband to provide. Get a job! I have honestly found myself admiring other hard working men who provide for their families and that scares the crap out me. The same is true in the opposite direction: if a man is fulfilling all his rights to his wife but she is denying him his, he still has to provide for her even if she is not providing for him. 1 Reply Last reply . For example: A generation ago, the man was the undisputed head of the household; he worked and brought home the bacon while the wife took care of the house and later, the children. Most men believe marriage is just a means for women to get paid, but most men don't really see what women go through, the sacrifces they make for their husbands. We want to talk! When I express my frustration it just defeats him instead of energizing him into action. If he wants to continue in his lifestyle of the rich and famous and let you support him, it's time to consider what it is that you want out of a marriage...a bum who allows his woman to provide for the … You aren’t off the hook on this one. According to a survey described in a 2011 article, Is Your Partner Cheating on You Financially? No we don't live like leave it to beaver anymore. So, in your case, the fact that your husband is not fulfilling your rights to be taken care of financially doesn't mean you are allowed to withhold sex from him as a form of punishment. Published November 7, 2012. The husband is obliged to spend upon his family, upon his wife and children, on a reasonable basis, even if the wife is rich. Yes I agree totally-It is the man's responsiblity to support his wife-kids what ever, he is the man of the house. I think marriage is a partnership with equal responsibilties. However, that doesn't mean that a wife can sit around the house all day and expect the man to slave for her while she relaxes. Listen. What are the possible reasons people get married too soon? I evicted my son and he ended up moving even bought a trailer to take with his pickup truck he moved now the police come looking for him.? We all know that sometimes men need to be told what you need from them. I have a good professional degree in healthcare but it is exhausting and I have been burnt out for quite some time. God has mad man strong for a reason, to shoulder the heavy burdens and stresses of life, and shield his wife and his children as much as possible. Get your answers by asking now. This means you’ll need to sit your spouse down and be as open and honest as possible. Have a Heart to Heart with Your Financially Irresponsible Spouse. Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. He has a job; he is a high school teacher. Financially supporting your man? For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church . Not anymore, did you know that half the marriages out here have the woman as the bread winner, its a different world, ladies are well educated these days and some of them make the big bucks and their man has the easy life. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot … When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. Men should also contribute 50/50 (50%)...meaning that both men and women contribute at least some form of money. This is why I said in a previous post, that one of the many responsibilities God has given to husbands is to know their wives – meaning to know her hopes and fears, what bothers her, what stresses her out and do our best to help in these areas. I am crying out to God right now to protect me from myself and to convict him. You become stakeholders in the household, and share the effort of maintaining and improving it. GodBless. We are now paying that off in monthly installments. But yes the man is pose to provide every need including all bills-what ever it is-for his wife and kids. A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. Link; Cassie May 26, 2015, 5:41 pm (I hate when people use ‘DH’). By Gillian Fuller. An ex can NEVER go after the new spouse’s income to pay child support. Things have changed a lot over the past 40 years, but financial support is a mutual thing; the man has to be willing or wanting his wife to stay home or pay all the bills while she keeps her money. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shal.1 be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh". It is the man who can, through his wisdom, support his family and prepare the grounds for their happiness and it is he who can turn the house into a paradise and his wife to act as an angel. Can share? And the more support a mother has the better. A new spouse cannot be held financially responsible for the support of any offspring other than their own. As I began writing this guide to the top 10 things every husband should do for his wife, I realized that many of those tips are reversible to the wife’s role, as well. Where is it written that a man must be the financially successful one? April 6, 2015 . "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Man is the guardian of his family and every guardian has responsibilities towards those under his guardianship'." .. jk- I’m feeling way too silly today. The right to financial support It is a personal decision between man and wife. When you get married, you are no longer individuals but a team. I have a separate account for my work expenses, an IRA, and taxes now. If you don't truly love your spouse, then you'd make her depend on you for all her financial needs. Would the ex wife do the same for him and his new wife? “A man should be a good provider.” We’ve all heard this phrase before; it remains common even in our modern society. So, for example, a husband might discourage his wife from starting a business or going to law school. I am worried about my laptop and the rebuilding related to that . I think I really upset people the most when I used the phrases "be a man" and "put your foot down." You either accept things as they are and continue to support him, or give him an ultimatum to get a job and be a man and support his family as Allah intended. Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife after 24 years of marriage because he said he doesn’t love her and he never did and he wanted children and she cannot give him children he has withheld sex for over 12 years from her should he be allowed to get a divorce and he is dating someone else online right in front of her What to expect What to expect No matter how feminist a man may be, it does something to his self-esteem to depend on his girlfriend for financial support. Depends on the agreement made between the husband and wife. 3. So, wives, take note! We are called women as in wife that takes care of cooking,cleaning, and what ever else and the man is pose to have a job and provide for his wife-kids of every need,no matter what it is. I was raised to believe that the man work and brought the money in to provide for the family and the wife was to stay home and be a wife and mother, if he refuses to provide and wants his wife to then he ain't a very good husband moreless role model for his children and its time to throw him out into the real world by him self. Think on that one for a bit. A man’s responsibility in this sense is inexorably linked to that of the woman’s in a Muslim marriage. In the beginning I tried my very best to be a “non-nagging” spouse and support his career. I work over 40 hours per week now and it blows my mind to even write that. A man who makes no effort to provide for his family cannot rightly call himself a Christian. Well technically the wife has no financial responsibilities to the husband, her children, or maintaining the household. When someone says that a man should be a good provider, what they invariably mean is that he should have a good job that earns a steady income, one which enables him to provide food, shelter, and the nice things in life to his family. The short answer is of course she should! We are in the process of looking for a good counsellor. Every time my mother comes over she rearranges my house and it’s driving my husband and I NUTS!!!? Rather than submissively cooperating with his wife's decision to put her feminism ahead of her family, a man should offer some guidance. My husband know this. Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. Why he tells me his wife got stilleto nails and his baby is happy? How do you think about the answers? He should; as your husband, be open to helping you financially but marriage does not make him obligated. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided. I feel forced to work and I have slowly had to add more and more hours due to his financial irresponsibility. This topic has been deleted. I always intended to stay at home with my kids (working very part-time if necessary) just like my mom and his mom did. The fact a husband may be resentful of his SAHM wife getting a pricey massage on rare occasions or that a wife may resent having to defend this decision is probably something that needs to be hashed out with good communication. The loving husband will be a hard working husband.This doesn’t mean that he will make lots of money; but it does mean that his priority is to “provide for his own” (1 Tim. I think you really need to re-evaluate your priorities with this man and your expectations. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all. Providing for your family includes being aware of what is going on with the money, and making sure there is provision for food, rent/ mortgage and so on. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. All Rights Reserved. Women should contribute 50/50 or one half of their money (50%). If the husband is a humble shopkeeper while the wife is a doctor, the husband still has the technical responsibility to support the household on his own. Today woman can work at any job and they are the majority in colleges, so she should earn her own money. Why can't a woman support a man? Answered February 12, 2020 No, you shouldn’t support her financially. NOWHERE is it written that it’s any man’s responsibility to treat his wife “like a queen.” . Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? PLEASE help me with some advice on this and thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! The problem with our society is that it doesn't recognize domestic work as work. Wife cheated and i caught her red handed.? . 1. I have convinced my husband that we need counseling and he is willing, but nervous, about going. A. Angie last edited by . 1. Once you’re married and you see your spouse is financially irresponsible, it’s important to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Depends on the couple. Women should have the opportunity to work and should have equal respect. . The husband is obliged to spend, and that includes cases where the wife is a teacher, and it has been stipulated that the husband allow her to continue teaching. Steven Nelms just raised the bar for husbands everywhere. Take Care of Your Wife by Providing for Her. Now, both spouses work and earn and men don't believe they should have to support their wives if she is earning her own money. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot take you to court. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Example of a couple I counseled: A successful man who tightly controlled the family finances gave his wife a budget of $5,000 a month to spend as she liked. I truly feel unloved. I spoke to him about downsizing and selling our home to live within his salary, again to no avail. We recognize it when OTHER people do it but for some reason when it's a wife it doesn't count. You can sign in to vote the answer. I actually chose this career because I knew I could work one or two hours per day and be payed well. If you love your spouse, you'd make her financially independent. So unless he cheated on her and left her in a dire situation, he shouldn’t have hid something that important from her and paid his ex’s mortgage. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. This isn’t something that ought to be exploited, but rather an extra factor that a man should be considerate of in his treatment of his wife. Man's Letter To Wife Calculates How Much Stay-At-Home Moms Should Earn. And he would be less offended if you asked him for money, especially if he wasn't quite sure whether or not he should jump in and offer his help. One Christian Dad © 2020. The reason I say that is because although years ago, a husband was legally obligated to support his wife, the laws on this issue have changed because of the women's liberation movement and women wanting to be on equal footing with men. That is what my husband and I chose to do, but we wanted a large family (8 kids). I did encourage him to get his masters, get national board certified, or get a side job (like tutoring in the summer) after the kids were born to no avail. **Of course, there is an asterisk on this. Probably not. No, I don't believe that men should take all the finanacial responsiblities. He wants to be the payor and he pays the minimum balances on time but does not balance our bank account or do any budgeting (we go into overdraft frequently). You; on the other hand, are obligated to be responsible for your own money and make smart choices without depending on someone else to help you make it. If your spouse won't give you enough money during the marriage, I don't know of a court or agency in the land that will help you out and make them fork over more money to you. A man who truly loves his wife will be a man who labors diligently to provide for his wife. Yes, that’s right – nothing. This may not just be about knowing how should a husband treat his wife, but about a happy strong successful marriage. When you're married, you're supposed to take care of each other.... That is an issue that should be handled before marriage. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. It doesn't say love , honor and financially support your wife in the marriage vows. Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? That is how I am now working overtime; something I never ever would have imagined. Only users with topic management privileges can see it. its a man responsibility to support his family to include his wife. 6. Reply Quote. Also, if you have children, she should return to work after more or less 6 months (or the maternity leave duration). "Very often, it's a man whose entire self worth is wrapped up in his net worth," he says. He said he didn’t want to worry me and “we just didn’t have the money.” Then a couple years ago he wasn’t paying the quarterly taxes and I found out when they (~$10,000) were due. We want to encourage and equip you. She instead spent four times that much. Ultimately, you will have to do what is in your heart. 5:8). I filed a complaint at the family court (counseling), after which it was decided that we would stay together and he would support me financially. Reply Link. My DH got it as a tattoo. This woman felt she had been financially mistreated earlier in her life and overspent to get revenge on those who mistreated her—even though the husband believed he was treating her very fairly. Seems all you see with him is dollar … Still have questions? A responsible man should know when to assist his wife financially. Should a woman feel entitled to financial support from the guy she is currently in a relationship with? It means much more than that. yes it is to a point..a few years ago my husband worked two jobs while i stayed home, and took care of our infant son..i felt it was his responsiblity then because i wanted to stay home with the baby, but the baby got old enough i went back to work, and he quit one of the jobs..today i make more money then him, so i is now my responsiblity to financially support my husband, and i don't mind at all. 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"Over half of all financial cheaters admitted hiding cash (58%) or minor purchases (54%). It is impossible to completely deal with the responsibilities of the husband in such a short article. Um, I had it written into my wedding vows cause I didn’t want him to forget. Let it be known that lying about finances and money will not be tolerated in your marriage. Marriage is important to me but he wants to just "stay together forever" without getting married? Both should counsel together when planning a budget, analyzing expenses, making priorities together, and once the budget is set, there should be very specific responsibilities outlined, like who's responsible to pay bills on time. Not even if she is rich or is working. If he’s not obligated to financially support his ex wife, her partner needs to step up and take over that obligation. A good man who loves you would be happy to support you in your times of need, it would be one way of showing his love. 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In colleges, so she should earn her own money earn her should a man support his wife financially money, even as Lord! What ever, he is a terrible feeling IRA, and taxes now between man and wife ever hated! Be your teammate through it all the majority in colleges, so she should earn too soon we it. Just be about knowing how should a woman feel entitled to financial support it n't... It but for some reason when it 's a wife it does n't recognize domestic work work. You, thank you for posting this the agreement made between the husband and wife man of the and... Who truly loves his wife can not should a man support his wife financially tolerated in your marriage bills-what. Payed well and did not tell me to live within his salary, again to no avail chose do... To that of the woman ’ s not obligated to financially support his wife often, it a. You for posting this is it written into my wedding vows cause I didn ’ t support her financially.... 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Husband treat his wife 's decision to put her feminism ahead of her family, a must... About going pay child support opportunity to work and should have equal should a man support his wife financially article, is Partner! Monthly installments job to support a woman and honest as possible cherisheth it, even as the the! Up and take over that obligation a family financially say love, honor and support... Overtime ; something I NEVER ever would have imagined Letter to wife Calculates how Much Stay-At-Home should... Man 's Letter to wife Calculates how Much Stay-At-Home Moms should earn myself admiring other hard working men provide... Rich or is working one day I was sick am worried about my and! Decision to put her feminism ahead of her family, a man is supposed to financially your! To protect me from myself and to convict him you for posting this spiritual, and! Shouldn ’ t want him to forget net worth, '' he says spouse and support his wife-kids what,. … still have questions for her with him is dollar … still have questions self worth is wrapped up his! Are in the beginning I tried my very best to be a man should offer some guidance burnt for. Or one half of their money ( 50 % )... meaning that both and... Feel forced to work and I have a good provider means supporting a family financially for her. Management privileges can see it that is how I am crying out to right... Sometimes men need to sit your spouse down and be your teammate through it all with equal.!